TheDeludedBlue

You can take the man out of chelsea but you cant take chelsea out of the man

Chelsea as a football club: You useless piece of shit. You are an absolute waste of space and air, an uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine. Your existence is an embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure in this moment is so unimaginably massive that one hundred years from now, your name will be used as a moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity pooled their collective intelligence, they could not have concocted a way to fuck up on the scale you just did. It seems that when Jesus sacrificed himself for our sins, he must not have foreseen the sacrilegious act we have just witnessed you commit. If he had, he might have forsaken humanity long ago to prevent your birth from ever becoming a reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that humanity is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of humankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldritch abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel someday will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break freefrom Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in. But than again, you are so incredibly abominable that you would probably be able to surpass the worst conceivable failure a living being could possibly make. You are so incredibly pathetic that you are honestly not worthy of any more of my words nor my time. Just know that I will forever detest you for your failure and everything you stand for, and that no matter what happens, I will never ever forgive you.

we already got one waste of space with the name enzo now were getting a second one

Jackson*

Mudryk and Madueke are shit lol Cucurella is shit Your best Center back Chalobah was out for most of the season. But apparently he failed lol

You guys nearly ruined him. Thanks for selling him to us, that is my guy for real. He even dunked on you. That's crazy.

Got that backwards bro, left small club for a big one. It's amazing he did that with garbage Chelsea, truly what a great player he is.

1 billion to be SIXTH! Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea...

he is very much a madman in the market.. and I dont mean it in a good way lol

You probably won't this time around. Chelsea has too much money, really, to outright fail. It would take outrageous amounts of incompetence. They might even get top 4 this year. ...and then your guys will come to the Arsenal page to brag about it or something...

Knowing Chelsea they'll buy whoever is hot on the market, brag about beating everyone to it, and end up in 10th by December.

Enjoy conference league 💀

considering we are on our worse ever years thanks to Peter Lim, Let's take a look at the financial numbers: Valencia CF net spending (23/24): +17M€. Chelsea FC net spending (23/24): -198,3M€ Valencia CF net spending (22/23): +42,10M€. Chelsea FC net spending (22/23): -562,49M€ Wow mate, congrats for finishing 12th and 8th after a net spending of 760.79M€, your club have outperformed expectations

a Joke of a club

I suppose he needed a excuse for the crap below par performances this season, if he wasn't so costly I'd sell him tomorrow utter garbage player, we got played by Benfica big time.

got absolutely brutalised by odegaard earlier

Yup dont want that tuchel overthinking shit here

Any one want Tuchel now? If anyone even wanted him in the first place

Keep: Mudryk and Madueke Loan: Diego Moreira Sell: Sterling

just take nunez man he will thrive under no pressure from your plastic fans 70m and he's yours

Antony, the worst player at the club since January: 3 goals and 2 assists Jadon Sancho who moved to Dortmund and "owned" Ten Hag, proving he was right and world class all along: 3 goals and 2 assists

Wow so they have practically the same rating as well.... thanks for adding to my point

No thats not significant, its a tiny difference. 0.33 is not the difference between one being shit and and the other very good.

Mid

Chelsea fans watching Nico Jackson every week knowing they sold King Kai to one of their biggest rivals https://s3a.sofifa.net/63637bed2d5c0517235feca17c7a0046089d116e.jpg

Get that nigga bum jackson out the game

Saka-foden-bellingham is a debate, but stop adding palmer to it

Jose LVG EtH Moyes Rangnick Ole Gunnar Glazer

Shhhh Chelsea fans can't call players horrendous even thought he alone is better than your entire current team

https://twitter.com/sportbible/status/1761849404435161258

we really dodged a bullet with him and caidedo tbh endo and macca >>>

No…it isn’t…

Boehly is an attrocious owner who is leading Chelsea into an economical disaster in the next years to come. And it's worse if you consider how the signings are performing, from champions of Europe to 2 consecutive years in the 10th position. Reminds me of Bartomeu and i'm not joking.

Which club do you coach now again?

https://s3a.sofifa.net/b735507ec5660ab147019c5e27694ec6c70e08c5.jpg ;)

Gusto is shite

1 step forward, 1 step back. Chelshit.

Should stay in Italy, just not at Napoli. I don't wanna see this guy play terrorism ball in the prem. I wouldn't even be mad if he went to Real Madrid, would suck for Barca, but anything to keep him away from that country

im not american i just live here. The Prem is the most boring of the top 5 leagues (after france) no one wants him there

Anthony taylor goated

Watch idiots complain about refs now.

He grabbed him with two hands that is a clear pen.

Still hearing Chelsea fans saying Arsenal was lucky, banter aside do you really think so considering: 1. Scoring a pen because of a deflection, was a pen though but lucky 2. Scoring with a failed cross 3. Arsenal not getting a penalty when Sanchez crashed into Jesus. And the Sanchez mistakes were not luck on the side of Arsenal thats just him being poor in that game, this is different from Rayas mistake as Mudryk did not mean to shoot. And yes you dominated for 78 mintues but the game is 100 minutes these days and you can't switch off like that and you not being able to finish is not unlucky either, it's just poor finishing. Am I just being biased or what am I missing about Arsenal being lucky? Rant over.

Lmao what you had like 2 consecutive wins against Fulham and Burnley and drew against Arsenal and now all of a sudden you deserve upgrades after playing like shit for a full year?

Stop being so reactionary about Sanchez. He cost us a goal and he should be held accountable for that. But we should also remember how good he's been in the other games. Saved us far more than a goal already this season.

Calm down, buckaroo, he just made a poor decision, no need to call for his head

chealsea the ultimate bottlejobs

First time in the season Chelsea have *actually* look *good*. the previous wins were not very convincing, except for Luton (but it's Luton), game vs Liverpool was meh by both sides... So yeah, for the first time this season I think you'll be justified to be hyped or at least optimistic. Mudryk has played like his price tag for the first time, Palmer was probably your best purchase in two years in terms of cost-benefit, Gusto is showing he's worthy of a fight for the starting spot (even if still way off Reece), and Caicedo seems to have kicked into gear, tho still not giving 100M vibes.

outside of a purple patch last season he's been poor and clearly regressed (which is fine he is 39) 82/82 he should be dropped when badiashile comes back

Who’s alliance? I saw a video of Reece James saying this inside the dressing room.

Wow.. what a touching message.. but I feel like I’ve heard this somewhere before 🤔. I heard the captain of Chelsea football club says this after every match.

You guys are so thick you don't understand sarcasm lmao Chelsea are horrible

he is just farming upvotes everyone knows that the era of cristiano and de gea had to end, they had nothing to do with the decline of manchester united.

Broja > Jackson , by a million miles

Yah he is good why drop him

this jackson guy is shit

Why this chelsea is nothing like the champions league winner 3years ago? THis is more like a midtable English Championship team or even English Ligue 1 team

not good enough mate. not a troll, just cant believe cfc has declined this much since roman left

How I'd rate cfc in eafc24: Sanchez 78 Bettinelli 71 Fofana 80 Badiashile 79 Colwill 76 Disasi 80 Chalobah 76 Silva 84 Chilwell 82 Cucurella 78 Maatsen 76 James 84 Gusto 77 Enzo 84 Caicedo 82 Lavia 77 Santos 72 Ugochukwu 73 Gallagher 77 Chukwuemeka 71 Sterling 82 Mudryk 77 Madueke 78 Nkunku 88 Jackson 78 Broja 76

Minha classificação da PL para esta época: 1. Man City 2. Newcastle 3. Arsenal 4. Man United 5. Liverpool 6. Brighton 7. Aston Villa 8. Tottenham 9. Chelsea 10. Fulham 11. West Ham 12. Burnley 13. Brentford 14. Bournemouth 15. Nottingham 16. Wolves 17. Crystal Palace 18. Sheffield Utd 19. Everton 20. Luton Town Se eu estiver extremamente enganado me avisem